IBA Results for Feb.11
Game capsules
Ehrenballs (4-1) 38 Cal Lusic 14 pts, 1 reb
Ball Hogz (1-4) 28 Eli Zakrewski 13 pts, 2 reb
Huge game for Cal as he shoots the Ehrenballs into a lead that they never relinquish. EZ makes some shots but not enough as the Hogz offensive woes continue. Don’t really think launching 30 3’s per game is sweet for anyone, let alone a team as inept at shooting. Might as well recruit Polar Bear.
Team O-Line (1-4) 44 Ben Kisting 11 pts, 9 rebs
Age of Ultron(4-1) 24 Ayden Nerdahl 6 pts, 10 reb
Biggest upset of the year! Unbelievable. The TOL crew shoots the lights out while Ethan Peskie and Wes Allen control the boards and tempo of the game as Ultron can’t throw the ball in the ocean while standing in the Gulf of Mexico. Ballers unite as TOL looks like the Celtics, Snyder and Haas get it going, everything was working, they’re red hot so after buying a week’s worth of Monster and Takis at the gas station they may as well buy as many scratch offs as possible with the luck they’re having.
Player of the Week
Ben Kisting (Team O-Line) 11 pts, 9 rebs
What would be cooler, being on a yacht with Leonardo Dicaprio or kicking it with Ben Kisting for a weekend in Plover? It’s a horse apiece – but Kisting was the man among a balanced team effort that led to the destruction of Ultron. D’d up, grabbed boards, hit shots, sold popcorn, just a stud effort. The sky’s the limit for this up and coming IBA superstar.
IBA Schedule Week 6 (Feb. 18th, 2024)
Teams Time Place Betting Line Age of Ultron (4-1) vs. 12:00 p.m. H.S. Gym ‘Balls by 6
Ehrenballs (4-1)
Fantastic game for battle for 1st place. Ultron is reeling from a smashing by the worst team in the league but they should be geared up again. Ehrenballs are just balling out and ready to smash and everyone on the internet thinks so. If Beau shows up again Ultron should receive another L. Ultron watches Athlean X on You Tube prior to get JACKED for the game.
Team O-Line (1-4) vs.
Ball Hogz (1-4) 12:00 p.m. H.S. Gym O-line by 12
Lehman stays in his lane and has his most productive game of the season,. Ball Hogz may lose but they will definitely win the Fortnite and Doritos competition afterwards. T.O.L. is 1-4 but really feel like that hottest team in the league after laying the wood to the previously untouchable Ultron. If Spoelstra could hit a few more shots there’s a slim chance with hard work, sweat, and dedication that he COULD be known as the poor man’s Ben Kisting. Says Spoelstra: “So you’re saying there’s a chance?!!!”
Leading Scorer:
Ehrenballs (3-1) 45 Beau Diederich 16 pts, 11 reb
Team O-Line (0-4) 38 Ethan Peskie 17 pts, 7 reb
TOL may have lost again but with Wes Allen and Peskie they now have some quality perimeter players who have a chance against anyone. Beau didn’t have anything better to do so he showed up and scored some points, got some rebounds. Ehtenstud controls the game without scoring a ton. If Peskie passes a little and makes a bit better shot selection he’s unstoppable.
Age of Ultron (4-0) 50 Ayden Nerdahl 20 pts, 5 rebs
Ball Hogz (1-3) 47 R.Loken, Guido 12 pts
Hogz almost pull off the upset of the year but Mr. Swan and Nerdahl get theirs in the end along with Bandy double digit boards again. Guido shows up and bangs around, does some stuff. Van dominates his minutes with a step back jumper that makes everyone go “whoa.” He then gives extra credit to his poetry students if they can put his miraculous play into stanzas or correlate it to Old Man and the Sea.
Player of the Week
Beau Diederich (Ehrenballs) 16 pts, 11 rebs
What’s better than: all conference punter and kicker,dominating IBA or a Mexican standoff? Adds another element that really makes the Ehrenballs a true threat for the championship; they have plenty of weasel snake guards but now they have a hardcore big man.
IBA Schedule Week 5 (Feb. 11th, 2024)
Teams Time Place Betting Line
Age of Ultron (4-0) vs. 12:00 p.m. H.S. Gym Ultron by 11
Team O-line (0-4)
On paper this looks like this game sucks but I feel an uptick of the intensity and quality of play for the husky boys of TOL. Ultron is just hanging by a thread and now they’re all getting tired, they’ll still win but Allen and Peskie will keep things interesting. Ultron goes “Let’s ball and be ripped” and Team O-line goes “Let’s squat and eat Little Debbies what’s up.”
Ehrenballs (3-1) vs.
Ball Hogz (1-3) 12:00 p.m. H.S. Gym Hogz by 2
Upset alert! Last time they played the Hogz only lost by two, now they have EZ and Guido so do the math. Hogz are ready to make a run at this point in the season as they added a new baller and his name is Guido Ehrenballs fatal sin will be overconfidence as the Hogz will go Braveheart on them. Instead of scoring inside the paint AG will be at bowling fighting the stench of stale Marb Reds as he heroically puts his team on his back on the way to state.
Preseason predictions
- Ball Hogz -LOKEN. The name is synonymous with championships and serious hooping and strikes fear throughout the IBA. They have everything from inside dominance to perimeter shooting. Question will be do they have the ball handling/distributing ability that some of the other teams have. Lots of quality athletes here and should be the class of the league.
- Team 2 – Can’t count out the best player in the league (Mr. Swan) who carried his team to the championship last year. Besides that they have some solid size with athleticism, but wonder who can shoot the ball effectively? Could be Dolan Alfuth, really doubt it’s anyone else. If they can, this could be the top dog, but someone else has to be good. Is this the Year of the Polar Bear?
- Team 3 – Charlie Lehman could go two ways: Dominate everyone including Loken and Diederich, get red hot and own the league, or 2) Miss shots, start to foul, shoot threes, etc. Which one shows up will depend how far they go. Peskie should be one of the best players in the league and #69 is a darkhorse for a dominating big man. Lots of good athletes on this team who can’t shoot.
- Team 1 – Really like the scoring/shooting potential of them, #1 overall pick Austin Ehrenberg is ready to rip apart the league with fancy ballhandling and deadeye shooting skills. John Carlson brings nice all around game and Alex Glodowski is just about the only big man in the league who can handle Loken. Rest of them are Team Weasel with Cal, JC, Cook and an army of ballhawks.
- Team 6 – Eli Bohm is arguably the best two way player in the league as he is just about the only perimeter player who plays defense (defense? what’s that?). Beau Diederich could absolutely dominate or he could show up once because he may have “other things” going on. Not sure about Cayden Wright as a third round pick unless he can smash 24 footers with regularity. Is Mr. Van the savior of the team off the bench or does he play two minutes at a time, then takes a seat huffing and puffing while regaling the bench with stories of Brett Favre and Reggie White “back in the day”.
- Team 4 – Kind of think this team is bad considering nobody can make threes even in gym class. I doubt this team could even get their picture on the wall in Mr. Vanderlaan’s Team Sports class come to think of it. Wouldn’t be a shocker here if Ethan Haas and Isaac Snyder led this team in scoring and the entire team leads the league in fouls. On the whole this crew is pretty ripped at least, maybe they can be skins.
